Putting it bluntly. Why the fuck would you the perpetual smell of a woman’s vagina following you around your-day-to-day-life?

But who are we to get into the minds of those who do. Introducing Vulva. A new scent developed in Germany (they bloody love sex don’t they) designed to imitate the smell that emanates from the lady’s sacred and most revered area.

Like any good perfume it comes in a well-designed package and (according to its developers) is designed for arousal purposes. I’d make a point of declaring to your missus you’re taking a chance on Vulva before you go anywhere without her. This would avoid having to explain why the hell you smell of fanny when you come back from a night out. Crack Magazine.

What next the scent of sperm? What a load of bollocks – pun intended.